Wednesday Morsel-- More or Less

Yes, I've been grossly negligent in the Wednesday Morsel department. And today of all days, I need a good quote. (What do you do with a sick toddler who won't stay on the couch unless YOU stay on the couch?!)

So I need your best funny quotes! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?! I don't think I'll make it through the day without some humor! (Any source-- movie, radio, email, book, tv.... I'm desperate.)

Here are some of my favorites:

"We need to talk"
Innocent enough words coming from most people, but rarely a good thing from a chief watcher. Too much talking right now on my part, especially honest talking, and I'd end up in the city jail."

That being from Magic Lost, Trouble Found-- Lisa Shearin, of course.

"Ah, I was wondering why there was nothing in the cupboards."
"Yeah, we needed the cardboard boxes to make a model of Skylar's house. We need to check the camera placement."
"Well why not just go up to the actual house?"
"We need to be able to adjust the walls to make sure it's the best coverage."
"And for some reason they won't let us move the walls of the actual house."
"How inflexible of them."

Okay, that's from memory. Numb3rs, season 2, episode 3-- "Obsession". LOVE that episode.

Ooh, how about:

DingNoah.

Gotta love Bill Cosby.

And MASH... I love MASH. Of course, nothing comes to mind at the moment... I need to watch the episode with the poker game again. Season... 2? With Colonel Flagg. :D

And of course there's always Stan Freberg! For your listening pleasure--
Christopher Columbus
The First Thanksgiving (Absolutely not PC-- just so you're warned.)
The signing of the Declaration of Independence

So-- hit me with your best shot!

More Conspiracy Theory

Colby and David go to pick up McGill--

David- FBI. Don't do anything stupid.

McGill- (Grabbing video camera) You're being video taped, I'm warning you.

David- Hey, put that thing down.

McGill- Help, help. They're gonna kill me.

Colby- We're not gonna kill you.

Girl- What's going on in here?

Colby- Ma'am, we're the FBI. We need you to get in the other room, you two guys....

Girl- Randy, call the police.

McGill- Yeah Randy, go call the police. (Laughs) Fake badges? What, you guys think I haven't seen The Departed? You guys are here to execute me.

Girl- Let me see that badge.

David- Look, the badge is real and so is the jail you're going to sit it, now get outta here! Scram Move!

McGill- You can scare them, but you can't scare me. (Lays down on floor) I will not go quietly!

Colby- Will you go with pepper spray in your face?

McGill- (hops up) Okay, hands behind my back, right?

I love this scene. I really do. As they're leading him out, McGill starts yelling "Attica! Attica!" until they get to the door and he calmly asks if they're going left or right.

Hysterical.

You can watch the full episode (and others) HERE and you absolutely should.

:D

Conspiracy Theory

Seriously my new favorite episode of Numb3rs.

(Which, yes, is not a book. I realize this. But I'm feeling conflicted about the last book I read and don't want to review it. So there.)

McGill (conspiracy theory nut), Colby and David are on the rooftop of a building.

McGill runs to the rail and looks over.

Colby: "Watch yourself buddy."

McGill: "Oh don't worry about me, I won't fall."

Colby: "If I push you, you will."

I love that scene.

Not A Book

GASP! I'm reviewing something other than a book on my book blog!?!?!? Shame on me.
Oh well.
Numb3rs
CBS
I totally love this show. And I've been seriously binging on it! In the past few days I've watched like 17 episodes or something.... and I've got 2 more discs sitting here, just waiting for the kids to go to bed.
I hate math. I mean really really hate math. And yet I love this. I'm kind of a sucker for crime dramas, and this one is fun. Granted sometimes I think the math is rather far-fetched. I mean, come on, there's just no way you can quanitfy some things. But still. While watching, you just don't care. Well, I don't anyway.
But do you know what really makes this show work? Family. I mean it. The main characters are brothers and the family dynamic of the 2 of them plus their dad is just awesome! They're funny, they're there for each other, their lovable. If you haven't watched it, try an episode or 2. It's one Friday nights at 9, I think (mountain time zone) on CBS.